— “Raw” is a must experience.
— Do you mean like sex without condoms?
— …
If I could describe the past year with one word, I would use raw.
First things first: contrary to the dialogue above, raw does not refer to unprotected sex. I want to make that clear.
I started the year 2025 not with resolutions but with a theme. You see, instead of putting down a list of high-aiming goals, I have been choosing a theme or two to cover the whole year since 2021. It proved to be a much better approach for prioritization. For 2025, I chose creating.
Looking back on past years, I realized how drastically the time I spent on creative endeavors had declined since I completed my Master’s. But not only that. Reading, watching something new, writing, and taking photos were all replaced with scrolling. The background was filled with the same shows playing on a never-ending loop.
So, in 2025, I left aside the smartphone or placed it screen down when with friends. It paid off so well that a friend noticed how much I avoided looking at my phone when notifications hit.
Apart from that, I read. I read a lot. In addition to science-related articles and reports for my work, I read plenty of fiction. I familiarized myself with new authors, paying attention not only to the story but also the craft. I sought metaphors. I meticulously took notes and documented quotes.
When not reading, I wrote. I wrote with a pen. Like in the old days, I scratched out words. Edited. Corrected. Scribbled. Sometimes sketched. I added a new fountain pen to my collection and got new inks. I also dropped ink on my clothes. I let my fingers carry the faded ink stains.
In the end, I wrote two short stories that are waiting to be published.
The never-ending loop of TV series was replaced by panoramic views of Kiarostami. Images from social media lost to the work of master photographers.
I took lots of photos, both digital and analog. I bought the digital camera I had dreamed of for two years. I dove into analog photography. I destroyed many rolls of film by incorrectly unloading, overexposing or underexposing. I spent a lot on developing and scanning. Though I tried to get into film development myself, I failed. But I finally got the courage to submit my photos to various magazines.
I went back to running. Running outside whether in the warm, in the cold, at lunchtime at work or on weekends. I signed up for a half marathon. Went hiking. Did some rowing. Camped. Spent a night in a tent on a small island.
The experiences have been raw, unprocessed, with no filters and no exaggerations. At their fullest, they made me embrace the new, leave my comfort zone and dip into ice-cold water, and not only figuratively, by the way. There is something special about raw experiences. Something refreshing.
2025 started with the loss of my last grandparent and fatigue. Tired, sad, and scared of burnout, I assumed it wouldn’t be a year I could call prosperous. Actually, the old me wouldn’t call it a successful year. Yet, I still feel like it was one of my most fulfilling.
Leyla's Notes 